Coffee, Shoes, and Ramblings

I know this was the challenge for people who don’t have kids, but my kids are not toddlers or at home so I decided to play anyway.

My sister is coming this weekend. My twin separated by 10 years, at least that’s what I called her the first eight years of my life. She said she can’t leave to come until she puts her mother in law who is ill to bed. Why can’t anyone else do it? Ahh, that is why my sister is special. She is the daughter her mother in law never had and that whole family is blessed to have her. She is nurturing, loving and gets up at 4:30 a.m. to take her mother in law to dialysis three days a week. If I didn’t know about the hand print she once left on my face, I’d say she was a saint.

In a lot of ways, my sister is my mom. My mom got pregnant shortly after I was born, had a miserable pregnancy, followed by a badly handicapped child (I know that term isn’t pc but way back when, he was so ill they didn’t even have a diagnosis for him.) that didn’t live to see four months. His official diagnoses? Crib death. Because of this my mom was convinced that I, at 16 months would soon follow, she woke me up night after night to make sure I was still breathing. It took her years, if ever, to get over it.

My sister, at 11, took care of me, slept with me in the room, fed me, bathed me. Not to say mom wasn’t in the picture, but she had six children and a house to run, my sister had only me for a living doll. As I grew, she fixed my hair and nails, dressed me, and took me for walks, talked to me, read to me. She spun big fairy tale stories as I drifted to sleep. We were the oldest and youngest girls, the middle two, at fourteen months apart, were like twins and shared a room and she and I shared a room. I’m sure being 10 years younger, I drove her crazy, but she never let on. I only remember one time, besides the hand print, that she was fed up with me.

She married when I was eight and I cried and cried. (yes we’ve established I’m a crier, deal with it.) she moved way far away. Not knowing about early childhood bonding at the time, it was only natural sisters grow up, get married and leave. No one thought about the repercussions on children who have bonded like it’s their mom. It was probably seven years before we lived near each other again and probably another five before we got the friendship that we now have.

When I think of all the sweet, loving women I’d like to be, she comes to mind, right next to my grandmothers and my mom on a really good day.

I’m thinking this could be the world’s best coffee. Especially with some milk, sugar or splenda on a warm spring day outside.

Don’t know if its the pollen, or the I just don’t cares, but I’m in a rut. My to do list is growing and my want-to is non existent. Have been helping my dad with his handy person stuff and will start on my house soon, the handy stuff that is.

My sister is coming this week to help me, well we thought move, but since we don’t know where, we won’t be doing that. We’ll just clean the garage if we have time, cause life stepped in with baby showers, wedding showers, fittings, etc. Does anyone but me hate going to baby showers or wedding showers? Its not that I’m not happy for these people, but its a good way to ruin a perfectly good Saturday that I could spend hiking or throwing away place-mats that haven’t been used in three years.

My friend in New Mexico wants me to come visit and I may do that. She said she’ll introduce me to all the single men she knows. I told her, “Oh great, another relationship on the other side of the world.” She said she just wants to give me an incentive to move closer to her. What sounds good is hiking in the desert and then swimming in the hot springs.

Cinnamon on top of Pinnacle Mountain. 

Someone really needs to help Bobby Trendy with his lipstick.

So yesterday was my first day as a slum lord. Not particularly a PC phrase, but nevertheless someone coined it and I’m sticking to it. My dad has a lot of rental property with really low prices. He serves a much needed market and in the small town where I grew up, with high unemployment and the like, its not always easy to pay the rent, especially if you have been down on your luck. So his very low cost rentals are necessary. And he makes sure they are decent. That’s not always what they are like when people move out and it makes for a lot of maintenance.

One needs roofing and I’ll be helping with that in a week or two.

My friend Sonya said she couldn’t imagine me repairing roofs when I mentioned it to her. Funny, I have balance and am handy with tools, mostly. And working on a roof should ensure a nice tan. So anyway, yesterday I cleared a stopped up sink and painted a zillion walls. Today? I’m sore and think I have a cold. Might be all the killz I inhaled.

Just clone me now. May 4-6 is going to be one busy weekend.

First, the world’s best event, As You Wish, the Dread Pirate Candlelight, at a brand new site. Total fun by some people who really know how to throw a party.

Second, my niece’s graduation from UCA, a really big deal that I’m not missing, good thing its in the morning.

Third, TOAD SUCK DAZE, with Sammy Kershaw Saturday night, right in the middle of my home town. 

One of the best things about having kids is seeing the people they become. Not surprising to anyone who knows me, I talked to my kids all the time when they were babies, read them stories and just talked about what was going on in our lives. (I wonder if babies think people talk too much?)  A started talking in sentences at 15 months and we were having conversations at 18 months. J being the baby was a later talker cause pointing and grunting pretty much got him what he wanted. Still, when he did start talking, it was in full sentences and he had a lot to say. I loved reading to them, telling them stories and listening to their stores. Iz had a really active imagination and the hours spent napping or right before falling asleep led to some really amazing stories. Crystal, my niece and sometime baby sitter, added to these stories, passing on the stories I had shared with her to my children, I recently had the pleasure of seeing that her children also had that imagination of taking something ordinary and making it an adventure.

J is here for Spring break and I got to spend some time with him and his friends. We went for a walk, J, Jon, Stoner, Sam the Hobbit, Jacob, and me. I didn’t remember Jacob which was funny since in seventh/eighth grade he practically lived at our house or J at his and I was always asking why he couldn’t make friends with kids who lived closer than 20 miles away. Something about growing 18 inches and having darker hair made him not so recognizable. They are all 18 and 19 now, waiting for graduation, for the rest of their lives to start, making plans, skirting around the danger that waits like a land mine just around the corner.

They were so cute, all wearing flip flops to go for a walk, talking about video games and test scores, relationships and the future, not so different from any of my other friends, only with maybe less mortgages and baggage. Jeremy Precious has a zillion friends and his phone was ringing off the wall.

J is so grown up in some ways and still immature in others. We had a blast. I learned that there are certain words you don’t want to hear in conjunction with your mom and how crazy it is for a restaurant to try to get J to buy an alcohol membership (18-can’t drink) just so we can eat sushi. I was glad for the week we had doing this and that, hiking, talking, and hanging out. We took his GF to eat and she is just as sweet as ever. They are making Peace Corps plans, and other plans to change the world.

Getting started on motherhood early is a great thing in my opinion. Of course motherhood at any age means you need to be willing to sacrifice for the good of other people. The teen years aren’t always fun, but there are moments, days, weeks, when you realize that of all the people in the world you know, the ones you really want to spend time with are the ones you had a hand in creating. Some of J’s plans involve staying right here, which means some of my plans may change as well.  

To really do it justice you need to hear his voice.

Got laid of from work today, boss man says they’re shuttin’ down the line
Said the trains moved too slow, they can’t keep up with the time
Guess I’ll break out the 45’s and drop a needle on a phonograph
I ain’t got a nickle to my name but I got lots of Cash

I just want to hear the blues and get drunk on that lonesome vinyl sound
Get lost in yesterday till tomorow morning’s coming down
I watch those records spinnin’ round and round and dance in circles till I crash
You may be thinking that I’m broke but I got lots of Cash

When I hear that whistle blowin’, it gets me back on track
I don’t care where I’m goin’ cause I’m with the Man in Black

I know the world won’t stop for me, soon I’ll have to get back on my feet
Sick of feelin’ out of place, can’t find the medicine I need
That music that they’re playin’ down the street, is just the same old trash
It may make ‘em lots of money but it don’t make ‘em Cash

That music that they’re playin’ down the street, is just the same old trash
It may make ‘em lots of money but it don’t make ‘em Cash
I ain’t got a nickle to my name but I got lots of Cash
You may be thinking that I’m broke but I got lots of Cash

John Corbett

Cash