Reviews/Summer Lovin

I love the way Hollywood makes it seem like summer and fall can change your life forever. You don’t get as many winter and spring movies about new beginnings and changes.

Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City: A True Story of Faking It in Hair Metal LA: Books: Anne Thomas Soffee

Ok, short and sweet. I think Anne Thomas Soffee watched a lot of Gilmore Girls and based her character on Lane.

She took about half the book to get to the point. She likes Rockers. She wants to rock. But instead she sleeps with roadies and whoeverelse is available and doesn’t spend much time rocking. She’d rather get drunk. She gets a really good job, it goes away. She goes to grad school. She sees Danzig a lot and a few other rockers a little. Its like your friend is drunk and telling you a story but keeps forgetting the point and dragging it out.

This isn’t a deep review, but the book really wasn’t deep. She had a drinking problem. She solved it. She lived happily after.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

Johnny Depp is Hot, everyones teeth looked better. A few parts were just too graphic for kids. I don’t need to see heads go flying and lots of blood to know someone is dead. I want to be pirate king. Having seven years (or is it 10) with Johnny Depp and one day every seven years (or 10) with Orlando Bloom isn’t a bad way to live.

Summer Reading:

How Stella Got Her Groove Back: Books: Terry McMillan

I like the book and the movie. Its good easytoread summer fun. The movie makes me want to go to Jamica because the water is just lovely. The book is better than the movie. A 42 year old woman getting her grove back, her life back and finding herself.

The Love Letter: Books: Cathleen Schine

Yes another 42-year old finding love in the arms of a man half her age. Light summer reading and way better than the movie. Beautifuly written.

Summer lovin’, had me a blast
Summer lovin’, happened so fast
Met a girl crazy for me
Met a boy cute as can be
Summer days drifting away
To, uh oh, those summer nights

Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh!
Tell me more, tell me more
Did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more
Like does he have a car?

She swam by me, she got a cramp
He ran by me, got my suit damp
Saved her life, she nearly drowned
He showed off splashing around
Summer sun, something’s begun
But, uh oh, those summer nights

Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh!
Tell me more, tell me more
Was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more
Did she put up a fight?

Took her bowling in the arcade
We went strolling; drank lemonade
We made out under the dock
We stayed out till ten o’clock
Summer fling don’t mean a thing
But, uh oh, those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more
But you don’t gotta brag
Tell me more, tell me more
‘Cause he sounds like a drag

He got friendly holding my hand
Well, she got friendly down in the sand
He was sweet, just turned eighteen
Well, she was good, you know what I mean
Summer heat, boy and girl meet
But, uh oh, those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more
How much dough did he spend?
Tell me more, tell me more
Could she get me a friend?

It turned colder; that’s where it ends
So I told her we’d still be friends
Then we made our true love vow
Wonder what she’s doin’ now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams
But, oh, those summer nights
Tell me more, tell me more.

Communting and Vacations

Ahh the joys of communting. Last night they closed I-40 due to pig parts spread all over the highway. Just lovely.

Next year? lets all go here for our summer vacation.

Life

Weekend was lovely, just what I needed, except maybe a bit hot. Could have done with out the ridge pole falling on me when we were setting up the tent. Really appreciated all the help setting up the tent. Missed some people who couldnt’ make it. I loved the cold sushi on a warm day. The lists in our Kingdom just keep getting better and better. Maybe we shouldn’t call last call for lunch in the middle of the end of the tourney?

Had a couple of wonderful conversations about service to the kingdom and we really do have some amazing people.

I always think you can tell if someone is a good fit for you if you can roadtrip well together. And Bri and I did. We never ran out of things to talk about and could probably have driven through the next couple of kingdoms and still had things to say. And as she said, the chicken dinner was great. Just get sweet tea when you are in the south and all will be well.

Apparently, when I have a really bad headache, I just nod my head when getting directions like I understand. Either that, or the daiquiri store had it out for me and hid its exit. (It did that once before when I wanted Santa’s Little Helper) But seeing the Kissmobile and seeing the rocking horse in the back of a truck made up for no daiquiris and it helps if you have friends with blenders.

New Job, New Training Schedule, Getting up every morning early kind of sucks. Love some of the people I’m working with. Some are a wee bit off. Doesn’t help that I’m a know it all and don’t like training class. But this time next year I’ll be whining I have too much to do and the job is stressing me out, so I’m trying to enjoy this slow ease into the madness. (and did I mention NO Internet) Black Jack or Black Berry coming soon to a Trixie near you.

Welcome to the real world
She said to me kind of condescendingly
Take a seat, take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
Id like to think the best of me
Is still hiding up my sleeve

They love to tell you stay inside the lines
But somethings better on the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out theres no such thing as the real world
Just a lie youve got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so-called right track
Faded white hats grabbing the credits and making transfers
They read all the books but they cant find the answers
And all of our parents, theyre getting older
I wonder if theyve wished for anything better
While in their memories, tiny tragedies

They love to tell you stay inside the lines
But somethings better on the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out theres no such thing as the real world
Just a lie youve got to rise above

I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
As long as Im alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out theres no such thing as the real world
Just a lie youve got to rise above

I just cant wait till my ten 25 year reunion
Im gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

John Mayer, No such thing

4th Annual Ficticuous BBQ

The fourth annual ficticious BBQ started much like the other BBQ’s. A chance to enjoy summer, meet new people and just have fun.

This year came with a twist. It was at Justin and Jen’s house, Their dogs are very freindly and sweet. Enabler Dan and Kerry brought a watermelon. Soaked in Vodka. Enabler Dan also had a treat for Justin’s fictious birthday. He so thought it was Justin’s birthday and the party game was “Edward 40 Hands.” I’ll let you figure that one out. Let’s just say it involved duct tape.

 Jen and Justin have a special bathroom. It likes to take hostages. More than one person got stuck in there and had to call for help. As the night went on, people left and just a few hearty mates, (OS and Trixie of course, they started the ficticious bbq saga) and a few others remained to watch poor Justin bravely try to slog on. We were having a great time bonding on the deck when Trixie decides she has to pee. (if you know her you know that happens about every hour, especially on a road trip, just so’s ya know)

So anyway. Everyone is out on the deck. We’ve been discussing how the door is locking people in. So I have a choice. Lock the door and take my chances, or leave in open and hope no one comes in on me. Well I’m a weenie so I take option number one. And sure enough. the door locks.

Now, picture all your peps outside, well, enjoying watermelon that Enabeler Dan keeps pushing on them. Talking and laughing and not hearing the banging of the person stuck in the loo. So I spend about 15 minutes jiggeling the door. I try my sunglasses to push the lock open. They are too big. I rifle through the bathroom of people I don’t know very well looking for sharp objects Nothing. this is the spare bathroom. So no sharp anything.

I consider my options. Panic and break the door down. (good thing I’m not clastraphobic.) Sit and wait until someone has to go or misses me. (remember the watermelon, that ain’t likely.) Then I think.

Wait.

What would Macgyver do?

I look at the door. I see the hinges have metal pin/pegs on them that push out. The first pin/peg thingy has a door stop attached. I grab the door stop thing, tug it up and it comes off! Ok we can do this! I flip the pin/peg thingy over and use it to push the other two pin/pegs out. The door is off its hinges! I open the door. I reattach the pin/pegs. I wash the goo off my hands. I wash the goo off the door. I walk outside.  

Happy Summer

Welcome to summer. Dream big dreams. Challange your self. Do something different.

Because number one happend to me at a Dairy Queen this week: WHAT NOT TO WEAR AT WORK
This afternoon I’ll tell you the story of the fourth annual fictitious barbeque.

I’m not a whore so don’t holler at me from the motel balcony

You can call my 1-800 number like everyone else.

So anyway, tonight me and MG went out for some cheap single girl fun. (Modern Woodman Dinner and a forced venture to a Mary Kay “before and after” event) (Total spent all evening? $8, boy do I have will power (and a sister who would be mightly upset if I bought Mary Kay from anyone but her.)

So we are leaving the Mary Kay thing which was held in the meeting room at a local motel which I used to think was nice but now I think is skanky and I’m sorry that I told my aunt and uncle to stay there when they came to town last year cause most of the people there were wearing dirty wife beaters, and looked to be cooking meth.

Ok this one is for the guys. WHAT part of hollering at a women you don’t know off the side of a motel balcony is sexy? Let me just say those guys had a better chance of scoring if they went inside and used the free motel toothbrush.

Its not like we were tarted up. We had on MOM clothes. MG had on a cute Mom jumper and t-shirt and I had a plain t-shirt and simple skirt, and ok maybe, fuck me shoes, but you couldn’t see them and they were job interview shoes.
So what gives? Are whores using Mary Kay to get pretty enough to earn the dough to pay for it? Is this a surban trend I’m unaware of? (Urban moms turn tricks to pay for Mary Kay? Use pink reciepts.) 

tanning zombies

I consider it a tribute to our national vanity that one of the things Paris Hilton did on her two days of freedom from the slammer was to get a spray on tan. Wouldn’t do to be all pasty like Martha in her prison mug shots. Don’t know if she saw a doctor and got updates on her shots, don’t know if she saw her preacher and got an up lift for her soul. But she sure took care of her skin.

So anyway, when I was coming out of the tanning parlor tonight I stepped into surreality. Nope, not zombies, but maybe zombie moms. The tanning bed girls (best job in the world by the way) are looking at the window towards the local college. There is a fire truck and an ambulance. OMG I say, what happened? they say they don’t know but they are trying to find out. The firemen have gone into one of the dorms. We hope its not a football player that didn’t drink enough water during practice.

People are gathering outside the dorm.

So
then, to the left of the dorm
I notice an older woman getting out of her car. Oh, its his mom, how did they call her so fast? She starts talking to two other women who are walking over from the building. But no, she is pulling a pink garment bag out of the car. The two other women are walking over to her and she is showing them the contents of the bag. The firemen are taking a stretcher into the building about 20 feet away and none of them even looks up or appears to notice.

Is it too much to ask?

So I give Mr. Askmeoutalready my phone number. He gives me his. I say, I probably won’t call you cause my mom said nice girls don’t call boys. He said, My mom said something about the three day rule. That was six days ago.

Can one of us not do math?

In the immortal words of Charlotte:

“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he? My hair hurts.” -Sex in the City

Some ramblings

Is the good supposed to outweigh the bad? or is the fact there is good at all supposed to be enough?

Monday I got my car back from getting its new motor.

Saturday it died.

Monday found out it needed a new starter. So keeping in mind I’ve been unemployed for oh, five months now and just started a job, consider that I’ve spent about $2,500 in car repairs in the last week. THAT’S A HELL OF A LOT OF SHOES. Or a really nice cruise. Get it back today, it won’t start. They were really sweet and had it re-fixed in an hour.
Consider my new job- won’t have access to the outside world. and some of that outside world keeps me sane. Oh, and pj day. Did I mention pj day? That’s the day that well… Look to the left, look to the right. If you are at work right now, do you really want to see those people in pj’s?

Someone at my new job asked me if I was participating in pj day. I said are you all buying me dinner? oh and breakfast? cause that’s what it will take.

The puppy I was going to adopt on Saturday died of parvo. RIP Lizzie.

So, I’m just saying, if you have any bad shit for me, can you keep it for a while? I think I’ve used up my quota for the year.

Oh, and I did get some good news today, a gift card from my sister for helping with the wedding. That was sweet.

Updated version

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck

So while I was writing that fucking post above. Which by the way my teachers always said a really educated person should be able to talk with out resorting to “swear words”

Anyway while I was writing that post, the fucking swimming pool hose blew. resulting in a trip to Lowes to buy a hose and intimdate a sales girl “see honey, this is what rosemary looks like” How nice. What I wanted to say is WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WORK IN GARDEN CENTER WHEN YOU DON”T KNOW PLANTS.

I’ve had just about enough thank you very much.

WHO wants the fucking drama fairy? BITCH IS going to be drowned, ran over, and a few more sordid things.

And on the fourth day they told us…

“You don’t have Internet access.” In fact only two computers in the building do. For 250 people. We are free to use the two that do have Internet access. but, its really inconvenient. ARRGH. I totally understand the whys of the security issues and the other issues, what I don’t know is if I will survive.

We had a break not five minutes after they dropped this bombshell.  (I’m in a training class with a bunch of people). I immediately went outside and called my internet/gadget geru.) I need a phone that has internet access and is easy to use. I may not survive this. This is sucker punch and I’m not liking it.

Hello My name is Sheila and I’m addicted to the Internet. To all of it, the people I can talk to, the information I can randomly look up, the blogging, the shopping, and I could go on.

I usually have a bunch of windows open, I’m working in most of them and while the computer is processing the work I’m doing other things in the other windows. I don’t know if this is going to work. It could so seriously be a deal breaker. I am a hard worker and very productive, but not having access to the outside world is like putting me in prison. A really bad prison without all the cute benes that Paris got.

Excuse me, I need to go drink cheap red wine and wax something.