Rambling Rose

This isn’t the post I was supposed to post today. But after reading Robbin’s succinctly put post of 7-19-07  I have been thinking about what she said.

First of all, Ouch. I like to think I love people enough to be strong and noble and only think of their good. I am human however and as Elizabeth said, “how can I promise to be wiser than so many of my fellow creatures if I am tempted, or how am I even to know that it would be wisdom to resist? All that I can promise you, therefore, is not to be in a hurry.” (Pride and Prejudice) and the truth is probably a bit more down to earth.

How strong are we anyway? Robbin nailed it in a way that if I could have said it, it would have not been near as clear and would have used way too many extra words.  Love, is patient, kind, … That is the ideal, and yet, there is a God and it ain’t you. Meaning we can’t hit that ideal, just reach for it. God has expectations of people. Yes he loves us, but he expects things from us too.  Even a parent-child relationship should have some expectations from the other person or you get a horrible person with an unreal sense of self-importance. And in adult relationships you should have expectations and not be afraid to stick with them.

Robbin has a good point saying,”The romanticism of our modern society likes to make such an ideal out of the concept of unconditional love – the self-sacrifice, the constancy, the faith.”, because that is the message we get. You are selfish, or you are sacrificial. Aren’t we all a mixture? Some of us lean one way more than other on occasion. But love shouldn’t mean you are a doormat, because that doesn’t make anyone happy.  I was thinking on my long drive home Sunday about how people usually say things like, “I’m not selfish” or “I’m not mean” when that is usually the thing they really are. (just random ramblings related to popular music and its warped view of love)

Aren’t we all a little selfish? I mean, you have to get something out of the relationships you have or you wouldn’t have them. Right? I think we talked about that last year. On some level you are getting something out of that relationship or you wouldn’t invest time or anything else on it. And having expectations of the other person isn’t a bad thing. It’s the unrealistic expectations that should be checked. Like that one person will meet all your needs, fix all your brokenness, entertain you and make all the bad in your world go away. Talk about a heavy burden. Or expecting more from someone then they are able to provide. You have to give people the freedom to be where and who they are.

Sheila