Rambling Rose

This isn’t the post I was supposed to post today. But after reading Robbin’s succinctly put post of 7-19-07  I have been thinking about what she said.

First of all, Ouch. I like to think I love people enough to be strong and noble and only think of their good. I am human however and as Elizabeth said, “how can I promise to be wiser than so many of my fellow creatures if I am tempted, or how am I even to know that it would be wisdom to resist? All that I can promise you, therefore, is not to be in a hurry.” (Pride and Prejudice) and the truth is probably a bit more down to earth.

How strong are we anyway? Robbin nailed it in a way that if I could have said it, it would have not been near as clear and would have used way too many extra words.  Love, is patient, kind, … That is the ideal, and yet, there is a God and it ain’t you. Meaning we can’t hit that ideal, just reach for it. God has expectations of people. Yes he loves us, but he expects things from us too.  Even a parent-child relationship should have some expectations from the other person or you get a horrible person with an unreal sense of self-importance. And in adult relationships you should have expectations and not be afraid to stick with them.

Robbin has a good point saying,”The romanticism of our modern society likes to make such an ideal out of the concept of unconditional love – the self-sacrifice, the constancy, the faith.”, because that is the message we get. You are selfish, or you are sacrificial. Aren’t we all a mixture? Some of us lean one way more than other on occasion. But love shouldn’t mean you are a doormat, because that doesn’t make anyone happy.  I was thinking on my long drive home Sunday about how people usually say things like, “I’m not selfish” or “I’m not mean” when that is usually the thing they really are. (just random ramblings related to popular music and its warped view of love)

Aren’t we all a little selfish? I mean, you have to get something out of the relationships you have or you wouldn’t have them. Right? I think we talked about that last year. On some level you are getting something out of that relationship or you wouldn’t invest time or anything else on it. And having expectations of the other person isn’t a bad thing. It’s the unrealistic expectations that should be checked. Like that one person will meet all your needs, fix all your brokenness, entertain you and make all the bad in your world go away. Talk about a heavy burden. Or expecting more from someone then they are able to provide. You have to give people the freedom to be where and who they are.

Sheila

Beaches

No shoes, no shirt, no problem

Me and the Pina Coladas are on the way south. I’m ready for sun, sand, water and good friends and nothing to do but sleep all day and when the sun goes down its time to play, something like that.

Anyway, got babygirl lined out and the hair dryer noise fixed and she’s and safe for road tripping. A clean car is a happy car so she’s going to visit car wash today and maybe get some new magnets. Have strangely odd directions and a map quest map. Leaving at lunch tomorrow and planning to relax as much as humanly possible. We may or may not stop in Jackson for a visit to a boy that has been popping up occasionally, not sure if like a mole or not.

In other news:

NOW not only limited inet access but NO meebo, my chat drug of choice. It seems after four weeks it was put on the dirty list of no no sites.  I miss some of you like crazy, and others I’d like to miss, if I could talk to you more. Blackjack will be ordered Friday and I’ll be spending my spare time figuring the blessed thing out.

Speaking of spare time,

Thanks OS for saving my life when the computers went down yesterday, yep, first full days of work and old computer mainframe fritzing. The caffeine spider can’t do the sit still and do nothing thing, reason number two I’m going to take up knitting or crochet in the near future, right after I hand finish that A&S thing.

I e-mailed OS on the super secret spy e-mail and told her it was up to her to keep me from showing my ADD, she sent me back some pages from Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper. The super spy network captured it and only released it today after a DNA sample, (didn’t know THAT’S how they got my DNA, I feel dirty) and as a result, at 7 a.m. I was flat out ROFL in my cube all alone. Which.Is.Crazy.

Thanks, OS for saving me, I’ll bring you a jelly fish.
Oh, and don’t forget, Enabler Dan set me up at http://www.coffeeandshoes.com/ and I’ll be double posting for a while til I figure out how to flip everything over there, oh and its fugly so that has to be fixed quick like.

Monday Monday

First the good news Enabler Dan has graciously set up a new blog page for me,   http://coffeeandshoes.com  and we will be prettying it up and I’ll be moving there very soon.

Today was my first day of working eight hours this year. Before you hate me, consider that I had the lovely reduction in pay that goes with that. I have only bought one pair of shoes this year. Last night, in fact. I had to restrain myself as about four pairs tried to crawl in my cart and I had to beat them off. They were very cute and very disappointed to have to say in the store.

You know my first clue that today was Monday? I spilled broke a jar of cranberry juice concentrate all over the clean kitchen floor. You know what cranberry juice concentrate looks like on the floor? Like evidence for CSI. I had decided to wear jeans today to forestall the whole, “its Monday and my clothes hate me” game. You know the one, when the pants don’t fit, the tops that match the bottoms that fit are hiding and the one of each pair of shoes that match the dresses have each gone on vacation with that one missing dryer sock. (I have it on good authority from OS that the socks are out line dancing with all the nice sweet single available men in my time zone.) Not sure how they will handle the one shoe thing.

So recap of morning up at 4:30, drop things, make coffee, try to make breakfast, shower, get dressed, splat cranberry juice with glass on baby toe so it can match the cut on other baby toe from Saturday. Clean the cranberry blood off the floor, wash the towels and stuff used to clean cranberry blood. Find new pants. Go to work, drop money in the toilet, NO I just let it go. Yuk. Clean nasty cube.  Get yummy new office supplies. Drop  about 100 tacks on floor narrowly missing  baby toe. I make more messes before 9.a.m. than most people make all day.

also dropped today: Lettuce, ink pens, celery and a few other odds and ends.

Hate it when that happens

when you get bits of a song stuck in your head, can’t google it cause that would mean you had access to the outside world. So by the time you get home you can’t remember what it was but its there like the remnants of a very good dream

 I think its this:

And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but…

I couldn’t face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can’t live a day without You
Lord, there’s no night and there’s no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You’re the heartbeat of all I do
I can’t live a day without You

I could travel the world
See all the wonders beautiful and new
They’d only make me think of You
And I could have all life offers
Riches that were far beyond compare
To grant my every wish without a care
Oh, I could do anything, oh yes
But if You weren’t in it all…

could be this:

Lost in this moment with you
I am completely consumed
My feeling’s so absolute
There’s no doubt
Sealing our love with a kiss
Waited my whole life for this
Watching all my dreams come true
Lost in this moment with you

Weekend ended with me staying Sunday night and leaving at 2:30 to drive back to work on time  Monday . Made it with five minutes to spare. 

 Tuesday or Wednesday was late to work because there was this perfect blend of sweet snugglee warmness and the air was a just right cool temperature. The pillows all surrounded me, cuddling just right, and I was having the best dreams. Needless to say many snooze alarms were involved.

Lugh this weekend, researching an A and S project I’ve been kicking around in my head for a while. And I’m almost afraid to say, Pensacola next weekend. You see, the last time I went to Orange Beach/Pensacola, was a month before Katrina.

Now I’m not taking credit, but the time before I went to Foley/Orange Beach/Pensacola? Andrew.

I love summer

Fourth of July had some really big boom. Was in a place in the valley with a ridge all round and could see fireworks from all over. There were colored flashes everywhere.

The recent rains made this weekends canoe trip awesome. Blue sky, warm sun and not a crocodile in sight. Despite a little pre trip screaming of the worlds’ worst crock movie, Primal Scream. (that would be me when the crock jumped at people) Only one shoe was lost, and it wasn’t mine. Peace, harmony  and love float on a river.

Saw Transformers Sunday and It was awesome. It grabs you and pulls you in and it doesn’t disappoint and turn into a formulaic teen movie.

I’m not a whore so don’t holler at me from the motel balcony

You can call my 1-800 number like everyone else.

So anyway, tonight me and MG went out for some cheap single girl fun. (Modern Woodman Dinner and a forced venture to a Mary Kay “before and after” event) (Total spent all evening? $8, boy do I have will power (and a sister who would be mightly upset if I bought Mary Kay from anyone but her.)

So we are leaving the Mary Kay thing which was held in the meeting room at a local motel which I used to think was nice but now I think is skanky and I’m sorry that I told my aunt and uncle to stay there when they came to town last year cause most of the people there were wearing dirty wife beaters, and looked to be cooking meth.

Ok this one is for the guys. WHAT part of hollering at a women you don’t know off the side of a motel balcony is sexy? Let me just say those guys had a better chance of scoring if they went inside and used the free motel toothbrush.

Its not like we were tarted up. We had on MOM clothes. MG had on a cute Mom jumper and t-shirt and I had a plain t-shirt and simple skirt, and ok maybe, fuck me shoes, but you couldn’t see them and they were job interview shoes.
So what gives? Are whores using Mary Kay to get pretty enough to earn the dough to pay for it? Is this a surban trend I’m unaware of? (Urban moms turn tricks to pay for Mary Kay? Use pink reciepts.)