Are you trying to kill me?

So today Princess and I go to Vino’s for lunch. I order a spinach calzone. It comes, I start cutting into it. I see pink stuff. Its ham. I send it back and the waitress comes and apologizes, “He said it will be ready in six minutes or you can kick him.” “I’ll wait 10 if I can kick him.” I say. After waiting forever, another waiter comes over,

“Here’s your sausage calzone.” he says. I start waiving him away (the same movement when OS is driving and passing and a car is coming-warding off bad juju.) Is he trying to kill me? The waitress walks over with my money and lays it on the table. I get my money back. And an apology. Apparently at Vinos they don’t know the difference between spinach and sausage. (or are doing something wrong with the mushrooms)

I’m hungry.
Tuesday went to spin class, then went to phone company.  It was closed so next door to it was the Nestle Cookie company. Had “Double Trouble” for supper. Two chocolate chip cookies with frosting in the middle. It was really sweet but I forced myself to carry on.

Spin again tonight. Hate it but its good for me;) love yoga though.

My new Blackjack will be here this week so maybe I can talk to people again.

tanning zombies

I consider it a tribute to our national vanity that one of the things Paris Hilton did on her two days of freedom from the slammer was to get a spray on tan. Wouldn’t do to be all pasty like Martha in her prison mug shots. Don’t know if she saw a doctor and got updates on her shots, don’t know if she saw her preacher and got an up lift for her soul. But she sure took care of her skin.

So anyway, when I was coming out of the tanning parlor tonight I stepped into surreality. Nope, not zombies, but maybe zombie moms. The tanning bed girls (best job in the world by the way) are looking at the window towards the local college. There is a fire truck and an ambulance. OMG I say, what happened? they say they don’t know but they are trying to find out. The firemen have gone into one of the dorms. We hope its not a football player that didn’t drink enough water during practice.

People are gathering outside the dorm.

So
then, to the left of the dorm
I notice an older woman getting out of her car. Oh, its his mom, how did they call her so fast? She starts talking to two other women who are walking over from the building. But no, she is pulling a pink garment bag out of the car. The two other women are walking over to her and she is showing them the contents of the bag. The firemen are taking a stretcher into the building about 20 feet away and none of them even looks up or appears to notice.

Some ramblings

Is the good supposed to outweigh the bad? or is the fact there is good at all supposed to be enough?

Monday I got my car back from getting its new motor.

Saturday it died.

Monday found out it needed a new starter. So keeping in mind I’ve been unemployed for oh, five months now and just started a job, consider that I’ve spent about $2,500 in car repairs in the last week. THAT’S A HELL OF A LOT OF SHOES. Or a really nice cruise. Get it back today, it won’t start. They were really sweet and had it re-fixed in an hour.
Consider my new job- won’t have access to the outside world. and some of that outside world keeps me sane. Oh, and pj day. Did I mention pj day? That’s the day that well… Look to the left, look to the right. If you are at work right now, do you really want to see those people in pj’s?

Someone at my new job asked me if I was participating in pj day. I said are you all buying me dinner? oh and breakfast? cause that’s what it will take.

The puppy I was going to adopt on Saturday died of parvo. RIP Lizzie.

So, I’m just saying, if you have any bad shit for me, can you keep it for a while? I think I’ve used up my quota for the year.

Oh, and I did get some good news today, a gift card from my sister for helping with the wedding. That was sweet.

Updated version

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck

So while I was writing that fucking post above. Which by the way my teachers always said a really educated person should be able to talk with out resorting to “swear words”

Anyway while I was writing that post, the fucking swimming pool hose blew. resulting in a trip to Lowes to buy a hose and intimdate a sales girl “see honey, this is what rosemary looks like” How nice. What I wanted to say is WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WORK IN GARDEN CENTER WHEN YOU DON”T KNOW PLANTS.

I’ve had just about enough thank you very much.

WHO wants the fucking drama fairy? BITCH IS going to be drowned, ran over, and a few more sordid things.

What do Trixie and a cave man have in common?

Even my horoscope can’t decide:

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 PST

 

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You could experience one of your recurring patterns today, where two solutions to a problem are equally attractive. Although you want your freedom, you also want love. This means that you may have to surrender some of that very same independence you desire. Even if you are leaning toward the intimacy and inclusion, keep your travel options open.

Random Thoughts

Well day one and I’m alive, despite a lack of sleep due to the crazy dream about chupacabra  day in the town I used to live in. (No one told me and I was out after dark and people were walking around with their hands in front of their faces and it was black and white like the end of Suddenly, Last Summer and about that creepy, but kind of funny cause it was a holiday.)

Itching is better, but my arm hurts cause Cinnkitty mad me laugh so hard I fell out of my chair. The blow dryer isn’t speaking to me cause he thought I was flirting with the curling iron. (That’s not all I was flirting with so he can get right over it.)
Have to get all my whining out of the way cause of this.  I need to whine a lot so when the bracelets get here I’ll be over it.

So, whine one, I MISS YOU! Yep, you. You see for the last year and a half I have pretty much been able to chat with all my peeps all the time. And believe me I am going through withdrawal. I miss talking to all of you. And you know how much I love to talk. So now?

I have an interview with a new radio station about a part time job. I think Trixie Love needs her own radio show. Don’t you?

Whine two, traffic is really bad. I realized today when I was driving around the bank looking for a place to park that  I haven’t driven in two weeks until today. That’s probably a record.

Baby girl is back on the road, but her motor sounds completely different, it will take some getting used to. My mechanic is a genius.

Whine three. Am I the only one who has seen Pirates Three? cause I’m going to so spoil it. Very very soon. Totally HATED the ending. mostly. Speaking of movies, I can’t stop watching Doctor Zhivago   when it comes on. It is a truly beautiful movie.

Thank’s to OS being crazier than me, and having a flat trunk on her car, I have a new mountain bike, Yeah me.

Lost Horizon Welcome Back

Out of the sun, out of the night
Comes the morning light
Just another day breaks
Under the same sky
As the misty dawning fades away to its lair
Silence and peace fills the air
While this placid day reflects its calm
Feeling the chill of a distant zone
Hear the lost ones’ cry from miles away
Wishing they were gone to another day
But the wishes give no hide
And the beasts you dread dwells in disguise

As the smoke covers my eyes
Mystic sight reveals
A doleful land among the shadows
Where only lost men go
Struggling in the night
Grief I see in their eyes

The sun is blackened while they fight
But the fire of hatred’s rising high
The commands were only lies
Around me young men die

Welcome back, to the days of thunder!
Welcome back, to the days where you were born!
Welcome back, to break the spell you’re under!
Welcome back, to the days of thunder!
Welcome back, to the days where you were born!
Welcome back, to raise again your honour!

What about the life…
that shined so bright once in your eyes?
What about the death… faith you lost…
so that was your quest?
What about the dreams…
there where no visions in your grief?
What about the fight…
that graced your life?

Water, fire, wind and soil
My soul came to be reborn
As the lightning thrashes black skies
The spirit fills my mind

Welcome back, to the days of thunder!
Welcome back, to the days where you were born!
Welcome back, to break the spell you’re under!
Welcome back, to the days of thunder!
Welcome back, to the days where you were born!
Welcome back, to raise again your honour!

What about the life…
It shines so bright now in my eyes!
What about the death…
Faith I found, now life’s my quest!
What about the dreams…
There’re new visions in my grief!
What about the fight…
It graces my life!

Out of the fire
Out of the wind
Out of the water and soil
I’m reborn

Its been lovely knowing you

Dear Friends:

 

I love you, some of you more than others its true, but love you all the same. I love my crazy hobby and all the smart, funny, talented, athletic, amazing people its brought into my life. However, if the Oil Companies have their way, I may be forced to sideline my hobby and make friends with the people within walking distance of my home. I drive a VW bug and it should not take $40 to fill it up. That’s wrong.

 

On the upside of this, some people I already know and love already live within walking distance of me, (OS, Hanna) but some of you that are farther away will just be my e-mail buddies and I’ll never see. However, should you want to move closer, I would gladly rent you a room or find you a nice place near me.

 

Damn you oil companies, how much is enough for you? Do you really have to show a gazillion dollar profit every year? How about just breaking even, and having a slogan, about how the little guy is barely making it, why should it be better for me?

Trixie’s last hurrah (yeah right)

I sing in the church chior, so don’t faint and fall over, there is a lot of us and I’m sure I get drounded out.

Anyway, Sunday we are singing, “Soon and Very Soon” (we are going to see the King) I think thats a funny song to sing right before I get on an airplane don’t you?

So I’ll be gone a while and won’t update probably: I have a lot to update, the wedding, the job, Mother’s Day, but right now I have one day to pack for four different things, and do a party and everything else. If I get time tonight I;l post some pics.

I haven’t been to Silver since my friend Margie gave birth to her son who is now in first grade. So let me just say that my plans for the next week include:

Hiking in the desert

Sleeping in the desert with a billion stars all around

Swimming in a natural hot spring

Biking someplace beautiful, hot, and sweaty

Eating real Mexican food

Eating cactus

Visiting a commune

And talking so much my face hurts.

Seeing if I can take all 1900 pictures on my camera

It takes a village to raise me

Well after my big whine fest yesterday, OS came over and listened to me whine about not having any goals. She assured me that just living a simple life is a goal in and of its self. and I don’t have to want to be Diane Sawyer or president of a company.  Today A and I had lunch and she told me that just because J moved his stuff out doesn’t mean he doesn’t need me anymore and the fact that he missed his flight this morning just proves that. Between the two of them I know I’m not ready to push myself off on an iceberg somewhere yet.

I’ve always had goals, finish collage, finish grad school, have kids finish high school and college, raise decent human beings that contribute to society, see the Grand Canyon, go on a cruise, get published. I’ve done all the things on my list and I’m kind of at loose ends. Nothing really sounds appealing. Well today, in my job interview, she asked what my goals were for the next 1-5 years. And OS just came out of my mouth. “I want to run a marathon,” I said. “No, wait I was meaning 5K I thought.” But that’s not what I said and taking it back was not an option. OS assures me she never said she wanted to run a marathon, but she must have cause I know I never did. But its out there now, on paper in black and white. Oh, and I also want to go to Europe and finish my back deck. (and maybe a nice all over tan?)

See. I’m kind of lame. But she probably wouldn’t have appreciated me saying my goals were to potty train my dogs and achieve world peace. Actually the Iron Man triathlon does sound fun, run, swim and ride, bikes, In Hawaii. The fact that I can’t run a whole mile at at time and I hate things jiggling when I run, well thats something I’ll have to deal with.

Well the reason it takes a village to raise me? I can’t remember everything so I store bits of information in people or rely on people to help me with things. Such as when I needed a memory chip for my camera I asked A to pick me one out. She did all-right, it holds 1900 pictures. What? would you need with that many pics? Well maybe I’ll want to photograph my death when I’m running the marathon and pass out. I did tell OS the other day when I was running that if I die, she has to go to my house and clean out the drawers that will horrify my kin.(well its not really a drawer but whatever)

The other day I needed to find a store that used to be at McCain Mall, I called OS and sure enough she knew exactly where it was. I’d be lost with out her. I was shopping for my mom (reason 56 I’m adding personal shopper to my resume) and only had a limited amount of time. Ever notice if you are home during the day people think you have oodles of free time to run their errands? And me in the grocery store? I’m calling A and asking her “Is the cheese with the head on it the good kind or the gross kind?” (its the good kind) and I’ve called them and other people asking them to google directions for me because like a git I went off and left the directions at home.

Also have to call and comparison shop cause personal shopper me is party shopping for the graduate.

Monkeys on the Ceiling!

Apparently E-Harmony works for some people. Someone I know met someone on E-Harmony a month or two ago and the wedding is in August. So today I was checking out this little coffee shop called The Brewery to see about having a shower there. Cute, cute, cute, and I hope it makes it. It’s in a kind of hard to get to place, but near the high school and junior high so maybe it has a fighting chance.

It’s decorated up and has great atmosphere, kind of rare for Conway and its chain restaurants. We only have a couple other places that cute. So anyway, I go into the bathroom and notice big flowers on the floor, which make me happy and then I’m sitting there and look up and lo and behold, the ceiling has monkeys on it!!

So of course I took pictures, someone get me a job.

Partial Birth Abortion Ban

You know what the real outrage is? WOMEN still don’t make as much money as men. That’s something you should be pissed off about. You do the same work, but they don’t pay you the same. That’s wrong.

Twenty-five years ago in May my nephew was born at 26 weeks or so. The doctors did a Cesarean to save his mother’s life. They then put the child in intensive care and worked like crazy to save his life. Today? he is a walking miracle because he has little effects from being born so early. Way back then in 1982 a child born that early didn’t have much of a chance of survival. Today, a child born at 24 weeks can survive.

As a society, it dosen’t make sense to me to in one hospital room work to save a 24-week-old preborn child by giving it the best in medical care and in another room in that same hospital suck a 24-week-old child’s brains out and throw it in the trash.

I think the Supreme Court decision is more about a society saying we value all life and we don’t want to be the uncivilized people who take a child up on a hill and leave it for the wolves.

If I were to give birth to a child and throw it in a dumpster, I’d be arrested. If I were to take my two-week-old baby and lay it out in the street, I’d go to jail. Why? Its not able to take care of itself so its not viable away from me, Right? Right? I’m supposed to take care of it or give it to someone who will. So why would it be ok for me to kill it a month earlier? Pick and choose which we want? Or should murder be murder? Why is it ok to kill an unborn child so late in pregnancy but not ok to kill it say three weeks after birth?

I think women do have a choice. We can choose the sterilization, the pill, the diaphragm, condoms, foam, caps, shots, patches, rhythm, and to just say no. We have a lot of choices. And choosing to not make a choice and be prepared with birth control? That’s making a choice. A choice to assume it can’t happen to you, that you are not responsible for your behavior. Yes these birth control methods fail. There are long lines of people, good people, decent people who would love to adopt your child, give it a home, a family, all those things that you can’t right now.

And what about the rape and incest examples that get trotted out in every abortion argument?

According to a study by the Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Actual percentage of U.S. abortions … are estimated as follows: in cases of rape or incest, 0.3%; in cases of risk to maternal health or life, 1%; and in cases of fetal abnormality, 0.5%. About 98% of abortions in the United States are elective, including socio-economic reasons or for birth control. This includes about 25% for primarily economic reasons.”
So what does this say? It gives you the real reason you should be angry. We aren’t being paid a living wage. A big reason people are having abortions is we can’t afford another child. Pay people a living wage, help mothers and dads who want to keep their children.

Teens and Birth-control

And who really believes teenagers don’t know how to prevent pregnancy? They know. They choose not to because if you use condoms that means you don’t trust your man, or if you are on the pill you are a slut, or whatever. Teen guys don’t use them cause they think it “cuts down on sensation.” They need to be shown pictures of things far more serious then those that are over in nine months.

Teenage pregnancy is technically defined as occurring when women under the age of 20 become pregnant, so if she is 19 and married, she is included in that statistic. A 19-year-old married woman is far different from a 12-year-old yet they get lumped together. Also the rate of teen pregnancy its dropping.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, “The teenage pregnancy rate in this country is at its lowest level in 30 years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. A growing body of research suggests that both increased abstinence and changes in contraceptive practice are responsible for recent declines in teenage pregnancy.”

I had a brother profoundly retarded, we loved him. We miss him. I have a cousin, profoundly retarded, We love him, his parents love him. He has a purpose. What right do I have to say that a child outside what is considered the “norm” doesn’t have a right to be? Children are a blessing. A gift. Don’t throw them in the trash.